i brought you a box of sweet cakes but i am very worried that this is not ok! there are some reasons why i think this might not be ok to bring you sweet cakes.
here are the reasons:
if you already ate many sweet cakes today, then this is not ok, because you could be bored of them already.
also, if you have an allergy of sweet cakes, then this is not ok.
also, if sweet cakes give you bad dreams, then it’s not ok.
i am prepared to help you in case it’s not ok.
if you cry, i have a very long tissue for you to dry your eyes and blow your nose. it is many feet long, if you cry for a lot of minutes.
if you shout, i have a quiet hat, which i could take off and let you shout into it, if you want.
as a last resort, my shirt, it is similar to a tablecloth, which is similar to a stretcher, which can bring you to healing places, like a tropical island, or a bath tub. i will borrow it to you.
this specialty fragrance will remind everyone one that traffic cones are nothing to sneeze at. you better not mess with these traffic cones, which will totally show you what’s what if you mess with them! once every person smells this fragrance then they will never be rude to a traffic cone again. nobody hits them or kicks them over! cars keep their distance so nervously!
traffic cone feels strong and beautiful. she radiates deep orange confidence. she knows she is untouchable on the asphalt. this gives her reassurance that she is great, that she can do anything she believes in. traffic cone acknowledges her imperfections fearlessly. she has learned to love herself again.
how to behave around bats if you are not a bat technician
- don’t pout
- stand completely still
- make an obstacle course with tiny rings, so the bats can echolocate sound waves through the rings
- offer the bats peach gummies while apologizing
half gallon orange juice
luggage strap is touching something all the time. she often touches cardboard, but sometimes she touches suitcase. when this happens it’s a touch and also a big constricting hug – not like a bear, but like a huge tongue in the jungle – that color.
well when luggage strap has to stop touching suitcase, she releases her tongue hug, but she has to think a long time about it before she does. finally, after thoughtful deliberation, her muscles loosen, and she decides it’s ok to relax and let go now. luggage strap often worries that the suitcase will feel unloved and lonely if she does not give the best possible tongue hug. even though she always does, luggage strap never thinks it’s enough.
rug chunks don’t usually smell bad, and they are cleaned with relative ease at most stages of decomposition. when fresh, and slightly wet, it may be better to clean, as some of the moisture left from the rug chunks have yet to settle in the rug fibers and dry. while not crucial, it’s best to deprive rug chunks the opportunity of drying themselves off on your fine floor coverings.
when drying, though, it is fortunate that rug chunks do not rot or become excessively pungent. mostly they dry into crumbly rocks, and are quite easily removed from the rug. when rug chunks dry, the most effective cleaning strategy is to wet the affected area with a good disinfectant, one with a pleasant smell. dab with a cloth or paper towel repeatedly in order to allow the maximum amount of disinfectant to reach the affected fibers below. then, use an absorbent material like a cloth or a paper towel to absorb the remaining moisture by again dabbing the affected area.
once you have collected the rug chunks, they may be steeped for bitter teas or fashioned into attractive earrings.
first i would take this (boy) to an agreeably sized pond, as close to circular as possible. out of my pocket i would take out a large paper bag, balled up, and reveal to him that it is crammed to bursting with blueberries. suddenly, before he realizes what’s happening, a gang of very polite raccoons has descended upon us, eager to share the blueberries.
excited now, the (boy) would help me to instruct the raccoons to form a circle around the pond’s edge, until its entire circumference is bedazzled with hungry and well behaved raccoons. then, i would give half the blueberries to the (boy), and we would distribute each raccoon a single blueberry, one by one. because raccoons are exceptionally cleanly creatures, they will all dip their blueberries in the pond, giving them a gentle but thorough wash, before eating.
this never would have happened if as a child he was given a potato peeler.
this never would have happened if he had been taught to peel his bread.
he would have learned the values of peeling breads.
he would have learned the feeling of flour on hands, under finger nails.
there are many uses for peeled breads, but he never learned them.
he never learned that the bread skins were good, sturdy handbags.
he never learned that the soft insides were heavy clouds.
if only someone taught him better about those breads.
We love Model Behavior Magazine! Cole Chickering, the artist and behind Woman’s Day (and the illustrations for refigural issue 2’s A Few Dinner Parties Ago) has announced a new volume of his print magazine, Model Behavior. It’s just our kind of style guide. Catch up with Cole below, and get a sneak preview of volume 2, available for preorder now.
What is Model Behavior Magazine about?
Model Behavior Magazine is about women! But really, it’s about the idea of women. I work with appropriated imagery pulled from many sources, and then reassemble it through digital collage. The magazine has almost no text, encouraging the reader to spend time with the details of each image. It is subdivided into four sections, which are based on four major themes I see over and over again when looking through publications that are targeted at female consumers: Wellness, Safety, Home, and Silence.
What prompted you to extend Womans-Day on tumblr and instagram into sister project Model Behavior?
After I graduated from school, I started womans-day on tumblr. I was tired of making physical artwork (I had been making huge labor intensive embroideries that totally burned me out). I began focusing on research, gathering compelling imagery from the different libraries I worked at. I started sharing it on tumblr as a visual research archive. Eventually, since a large majority of my source materials are print, I felt compelled to return them back to their print origin in the form of a new magazine. Spending time with artists books and publications, and making friends who were publishing things themselves, helped me to see this as a possibility for myself despite never having worked with image editing programs or graphic design.
Where do you source the materials for your work, and what is that research like?
Most of my materials come from thrift store books and magazines, junk mail catalogs I get at work, and books I check out from the public library. I find that the lower the production quality is, the more I love it. Generally, I go through any source material page by page, seeking out images that feel like they are hitting a perfect note of uncanniness and constructed/objectified femininity. I also seek out chance word/image combinations that hint at a subliminal message or a subversion of intent.
What does Model Behavior feel like?
Model Behavior Magazine feels like… a fantasy of reality. I’m not very interested in the women of fashion magazines, but rather the illustrative everywomen that populate more serviceable publications (catalogs, textbooks, instruction manuals, self help books, advertising, stock photography). Women represented in these sources are a synthesis of cultural symbols and normalized expectations of femininity, pushing a message of good citizenship through fear and consumption. Their consistently coded appearance and repeated scenarios create a visual language that we all know, the language of idealized Western woman iconography.
What does Model Behavior look like?
Model Behavior Magazine looks like severed and spliced softness. Imagine womans-day, roughly chopped and carefully reconstituted into a totally fresh viewing experience.
Where can you find Model Behavior Magazine?
Right now, the best place to get it is from my website – www.modelbehaviormagazine.com
It is also sold in some retail locations, with more in the works.
I have lately turned to luxury as a way of ARRANGING THINGS, of keeping them together. Wet wet wet wet, wild is the whip, to this day what is most unholy is that vicious repetition! Spun glass into that ass, you saw what I saw, didn’t you? That guy whose sandal dangled by a thread as all those leathers lingered. What is it to be a man? I really couldn’t say.
(When I think about Los Angeles, I think about Bravo television in 2005, like Real Housewives, Kathy Griffin, Paula Abdul, that lesbian trainer who always looked like well cooked turkey dinner, moist and burnt. But who thinks about Los Angeles?)
You Can Bury Me In Episodes of Dallas on Blu-Ray But I’ll Never Find A Color Scheme Appropriate For This Dinner
Impressive, But Who Has Time?
I know this kid who spent a few thousand dollars on Astrid Andersen, or maybe just a few hundred dollars, but he spent a lot, and I think he really enjoyed the air of self-importance it afforded – no, he would have had that anyway, but really I could tell he thoroughly appreciated that expensive wink at masculinity, like hey! I’m fuckable but funny. Jesus.
However Lush Your Death, It’s Still And Only Can Be Yet Another Wet Beginning
J. W. Anderson
Rich White Finally It’s Violence
The look of an expensive autocrat in 60 years, or some eccentric energy tycoon, thank god, like earlier when I said I have gotten into luxury as a way of arranging things what i should have said is that i have relinquished myself to luxury, abandoned or surrendered me to luxury, it’s quite a splendid altar and I never miss the money.
Unabashed pleasure yields a punishment but still I never miss the money, never feel the lash, except when everything is white hot wouldn’t move and worse like when the dog is quiet and you know that Something Soon Will Happen but instead you know you settle into your parents’ leather couch and let yourself enjoy the Golden Girls, or Bergman, something rich and indulgent like that. A Marie Callendar cake and an episode of